Walking the Inka Trail






It’s the end of a year, again. It’s really only another day but we can always look at it as a benchmark of a life another year lived, our own or others’. Most people like to reflect on what has come to pass and what lie ahead for them. For this reason, I find the end of a year and the beginning of another somewhat useful.
The end of this year revealed a few deaths for me. An ancient college teacher passed away, she was old and frail so that was not much of a surprise. A husband of another older college teacher also died, of old age and illness. A friend posted about a tragic accident that took away 8 lives of people whom we think had so much to contribute to the world, an uncalled-for loss to society.
We did not get a chance to attend the funeral of the teacher who died as her relatives arranged the ceremony in Bangkok, so her friends and colleagues here in Chiang Mai arranged some kind a wake for her at Wat Suandok(mai) one morning. Professor Sang Changnam gave a soulful talk about her and I got to meet my old teachers and many of the deceased’s friends and colleagues whom I don’t get to see on a regular basis, those whom I have lost touch with. It was nice to see them looking exactly the same and vibrant as ever.
An occasion like this—mourning the dead—is a very constructive occasion. It reminds us that we go on, that we have to be strong because there will be more goodbyes to say. Seeing someone dying should not make us sad or hopeless, it should create an opposite response as it brings people who are left behind a little more closer and it makes us appreciate life a little better. It also makes us more cautious of what we do and tells us to start doing things that are worthwhile. Someone has said “Live life to the fullest, laugh and the world laughs with you, love like there’s no tomorrow.” And these are my new year mottos. For those who know me well, this is hardly new; I’m simply revising and continuing with the same old concepts. I think they are fulfilling sentiments, and they could be yours. Enjoy!
Recently my ex-boyfriend and I found each other on Facebook. We were together during college and after that, our lives never crossed paths; it has been roughly 28 years. We were classmates before and now we resume that relationship. So far so good, another lost friend found; a common story on Facebook.
Then something happened that made me ponder about a totally different thing. The way he addresses me, talks to me, makes comments about me, makes me gradually realize that, for him I am still that girl 28 years ago. In the beginning I really didn’t recognize that girl. I felt strange for no reason until it dawned on me that he has not really been addressing me; he has been “talking” to the “old me” and suddenly I realized that I have changed so much.
How many personalities could a person have in a lifetime? We are certainly not the kind of person we were when we were 20 years old. When we reached our 30s, we had evolved into yet another “person.” I read from somewhere someone says a person takes time to become one. This might be at least partly true. Otherwise the movies like “Young Victoria” which is a story of the young Queen Victoria of England who had done so much for the prosperity of Britain that her name graces an English historical period, wouldn’t make any sense. Likewise that movie about the young Coco Chanel, one of the great designers of our time. These examples just confirm that their young lives are as important and interesting as the lives that make them world famous.
Are we the most complete and perfect at our current personality? Are we always happy with this person we have become? Is it possible to get stuck emotionally with our “old personality”? It is not uncommon to see people using their old photos as their Facebook profile picture, or old friends sharing old, sepia photos of their youth. Why do we dwell in or like to visit our past? Maybe that’s what psychology is for. I may have enjoyed the few personalities of my past, but I think I’m most content with the current one and I certainly look forward to meeting the "future me."
Another complication about the evolution of our person is that we might perceive ourselves to be of one personality but people around us might take us to be a different kind of person. This of course makes everything all the more confusing. In the middle of all this, I guess the best way to survive is to know thyself the way you really are. You might have very nasty habits, you might treat people who love you badly, you may take for granted those who have labored for your well being, etc. But if that’s who you are, denying it won’t get you anywhere. An ancient and wise Chinese philosopher says “Know your enemy and know yourself,” but I’d say know yourself, period. Knowing how terrible you are often times makes you more considerate to other people. An ability to accept yourself the way you really are is an acquired skill, it could be hard, but it might be worth trying.